12.24.2009

Glimpse From That Other World

I wish I could hear that song
The one the angels sing
My song down here has been dampened
By loss, death and reality.

My mask has disintegrated
and lost strength in the blow of this month
I have collided with reality once again
I feel like I am back at square one.

It's been hard to breathe
and hold back the tears
To hide behind the facade
that my hurt has found relief

And really it had
Until December came
Christmas Eve is upon us
And that sting is back again

I want to die these days
And be whole again with you.
The longing in my heart is hard to ignore
when it blinds me from the truth.

I need perspective from that other world
The one that you call home
What is it like to be separated
Loved and yet made whole?

Please give me a glimpse of what you see
My eyes can't see past these tears
Is it Jesus holding you?
Or are the angels rocking you to sleep?

Please give me a glimpse of what you smell
My senses are dried up and barren
Is heaven's aroma like sweet gardenias?
And do gerbers smell like roses up there?

Please give me a glimpse of what you hear
My song has been dampened by the emptiness inside
I can't help but wonder if you sing with the angels
Or stay with me ever at my side?

I need a glimpse of heaven, your home
Because down here my strength has failed me
Remind me that time is but a moment to you
And that the restraint of death will one day flee.

"He setteth an end to darkness, and searcheth out all perfection: the stones of darkness, and the shadow of death." 
Job 28:3





8 comments:

Jill said...

Oh Franchesca, I wish I had a glimpse of heaven too. I can feel your pain and yearning through your words. I hope you find some peace this holiday season. Remembering Jenna Belle with you. I like to think of all our angels playing and celebrating together. xo

Jess said...

If only we could all have just a glimpse this Christmas!! Your put it all into words so well, Franschesca. I am praying for you and thinking of you and Jenna, and your little boy.

jamie said...

This made me cry - it is so heartfelt. Christmas Eve came so suddenly today.

Wishing you a peaceful holiday

Christy said...

Beautiful words. "time is but a moment to you." oh, to think of it that way. i wish it was that way for me, too.
Wish I had some strength to send you, but it is so hard right now. I am stunned by how hard this is.

Caroline said...

Such a great post and praying for you always. {{HUGS}}
Caroline

Mattie said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I wish I could catch a peek at Heaven. It seems so far away right now. I hope you had a blessed Christmas.

The New Simons said...

I love this Franchesca... I have goosebumps.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this. I too wish we would have had a glimpse of what our babies' lives are like now. Maybe it would make spending the holidays without them that much less painful. *hugs*

Jenna's Name Slideshow

Thank you so much for emailing me pictures of my Jenna's name. It means so much that you took time to remember my Jenna with me. XO