11.21.2009

Split Wide Open



"Split Wide Open"

Oil on canvas, diptych
2007
by me


I am split wide open
My heartache is on display
My mask is coming back slowly
But somedays it's difficult to fake

How important my life used to seem
All the dreams that I hoped for one day
Art school, grad school, painting was my life
The colors have all faded
Into tones of grey and white.

I thought I knew heartache
a few years ago,
but I realized the preface
could not compare to this empty hole.

I have a scar that just won't heal
It takes time, they say
But do they know my pain runs deep
that reminders hit me everyday?

My mind used to think in colors,
and create murals of landscapes in daydreams
I have been changed, wanting ever to escape
From the dry reality around me

And in all my heartache
I can be thankful that my time with her was real
I am better for having her visit my world
She graced my life gently, briefly,
but still she was here.

I am split wide open
I want this wound to be healed
I know the scar will always be there
For true love can never be concealed.






20 comments:

Kristy said...

You have such a powerful way with words. You are in my thoughts. *hugs*

Lauren said...

this is beautiful and a perfect portrayal of the very real pain felt by a mother when her baby dies ... thank you for sharing this with us.

The Blue Sparrow said...

Wow, you really do have a way with words. Everytime I read your posts I come away with a new way of thinking about Bryston's passing. Its beautiful Franchesca. *HUGS*

Mary said...

I love the canvas. Beautiful and tragic...as we all know that the two connect so easily...

Mattie said...

That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Susan said...

Thanks so much for sharing this.

Jill said...

As I have said before, you have such a way with your words. The canvas says so much. Thank you for sharing.

xx

Malory said...

Such powerful words. They have left goosebumps on my skin. We are better for having our daughters for the short time we did. I wouldn't trade it in to erase this heartache.

Once A Mother said...

the painting. the words. amazing.

after iris said...

gorgeous x

Lianne said...

My eyes filled with tears as I was in awe with these beautiful words. Thank you for sharing this post.

Karen said...

It's all in those eyes, Franchesca. The painting captures the sorrow. And then I read your poem.... xo

Laura said...

Just Beautiful!!!!!!
Hugs!

Jess said...

Wow...both the painting and the poem are so real in a beautiful and heart-breaking way. You have such a talent through both your writing and your artwork, that so many can relate to. It's a comfort to find someone else putting into words what your own heart has been uttering. That's what I find so meaningful in reading other people's blogs, and yours has been so powerful for me.

The New Simons said...

This is breathtakingly beautiful Franchesca. My heart is breaking all over again. The poem gives me chills and the painting is incredibly descriptive of the emotion and words you used. I'm so sorry.... I'm here if you'd like to talk.

Xo,
Rachel

Fireflyforever said...

Just ... wow. The painting is amazing.

Holly said...

Your words and painting are both hauntingly beautiful.

Catherine W said...

What a beautiful painting Franchesca. I've looked at it several times over the past few days. It's heartbreaking.
You are very talented. xo

Allison (Ali) said...

I wish that I could express myself so eloquently.

amazing.

R said...

There is so much truth in all of your posts- I'm glad you have the gift to speak what so many of us feel- but yet so sorry that you are feeling this way too.

Jenna's Name Slideshow

Thank you so much for emailing me pictures of my Jenna's name. It means so much that you took time to remember my Jenna with me. XO