For my 100th post on this blog I want to say that I am thankful for some things I believe God has been bringing me back to. One of the biggest things is my love for being creative.
When Jenna died, I felt like I literally lost my identity. I recently wrote about that here. I remember not recognizing the person I saw in the mirror, especially days after she died. It was like a weird out of body experience (not literally, metaphorically... if that makes any sense).
I used to be a naive and somewhat selfish girl who graduated college and taught art, but really - I wanted to be an artist. I was very much wanting a career in an art museum some day or to teach art history at a university, go to grad school...
Well I can't really say those are my dreams anymore. They have changed. My passion is not art, my passion is helping someone else who is hurting just as bad as I did. I would still love to go back to school one day but to study art therapy.
I am slowly finding my identity again, but I am finding it is very different than the one I once knew.
*Her short visit to my world made all the difference.*
I am bouncing back, and I am certain it's going to be a bumpy ride because those days (where I can't even imagine being happy again) just happen. But here it is.
Jenna died, but my identity and being creative doesn't have to. I love colors, I love art, I love anything that challenges my imagination.
IT IS WHO I AM.
Okay! I feel like I can breathe a little easier...
As long as God will help me, I want to embrace this grief with my love for art.
So... I am pretty excited about these. Some of you may already know, but I wanted to let everyone know I am finally selling the Hope Collage Memory Boxes. For the 25 Days of Giveaways before Christmas (hosted by lovely Tina) my giveaway was a memory box. It was inspired from the book, The Christmas Box, loaned to me by Jill from Footprints on Our Hearts.
You can read more about the memory boxes here.
These are some examples...
I really enjoy making them. I am selling them for $15 before shipping. I really really want to keep the price low so to help with costs I am also doing blog makeovers on my newest blog called Small Bird Studio, named after my Jenna! It only costs $30 to get a brand new blog look and... well you can read more about that here.
The proceeds made from the blog makeovers will help keep the cost of the memory boxes affordable and with the cost of printing the postcards for the Abiding Hope Collages to distribute in NICUs at hospitals. The proceeds will also cover any cost of running Abiding Hope Collages site.
I am pretty excited about both endeavors because one - it is all because of my daughter, and in her honor and two- I get to be creative while doing all of it :)
If you get a chance please visit Small Bird Studio. If you have any feedback or suggestions, I would sure appreciate it. Your input means a lot. I have put a lot of thought into both of these efforts, and was dying to share them here, but this is all pretty new to me. It is very possible I may have overlooked something in my excitement to get this started.
Oh, and here's my logo... :)
24 comments:
You did an AWESOME job on the boxes!! Are they paper mache? or what is it you covered them with?
I really need to get back to making memory boxes for the hospital....
I think it's great you're doing this! :)
This so AWESOME and what a great idea. {{HUGS}}
Caroline
Congrats on the 100th post. It's bittersweet. I mean we wouldn't have these blogs had our daughters been home in our arms. But, meeting all of you through my blog has been my greatest blessing. I feel I am a new person as well. Sometimes, I hate the person I've become. I'm bitter and angry. I have no patience for certain things. But, I also know that losing her has made me more grateful, I complain way less (except about losing her), and I'm more sensitive with my words. I want both a box and a makeover. :) Off to visit your sites. <3
It must seem surreal that 100 post have gone by already. I feel like I can totally relate about losing my identity. One day I thought I knew who I was and the next day I had no idea.
Jenna is so loved and has touched your life in amazing ways. The things you are doing in her memory and for other parents is incredible. You and Jenna together are touching many hearts. I am so happy that The Christmas Box inspired you. I love when books inspire people.
I will be sure to check out Small Bird Studio. You are definitely creative and I love everything you are doing. Thanks again for my babies Hope Collage and Memory Box. My husband and I treasure them! xo
Those boxes are beautiful!!! WOW! You are so creative and talented! I love that you are doing blog designs too -- and of course I love your hope collages. I still have mine and it is just precious to me. I know what you mean about finding a new identity. I was never the same person after I lost Asher. I just couldn't be... I had to find me again, but the new me.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart!
These are just absolutely lovely - so delicate and beautiful, just like our babies. Hugs.
You do so many wonderful things! I believe there are certain pieces of us that cannot be destroyed. They may become buried, but never destroyed. I am glad you are finding your identity again, even if it has been somewhat altered.
The boxes are beautiful, I think one day soon I want to order one for each of my baby boys. They look like so much love goes in to each one. Your talents are amazing, and I think sharing them with the world you is inspiring. Thanks you. *hugs*
Love your work and its awesome to be able to do it all in memory of your sweet Jenna Belle! I am off to check out your site!!
Nicolle
Congratulations on 100 posts!
I can so relate on the identity thing-I often look in the mirror and think-who is that? how did she get here?
The boxes are so beautiful!
Seriously--nearly every time I read your blog, I think, "That's exactly the blog post I have in my head." On one hand, I feel horrible because I hate feeling like I am taking another's feelings and words...on the other, I realize they are feelings and words that sadly, so many of us share.
I've seen and admired your boxes but thought we have a chest given to us to 'remember' Matthew, as well as the boxes from the hospitals. In looking again at your collage boxes, though, and reading your post...I think nothing would make me happier to have one for Matthew--you obviously put so much love and care into it and I love someone thinking of my Matthew that way. I also have been dying for lots of cute things I have seen on blogs--cute signatures, a little button to go to Matthew's birthday. Now you have a sweet little site to help with all that! I'm off to both! Hugs!
Your memory boxes are so wonderful! I love Carleigh's and I do still plan on getting one for Jordan. There's just so many things I'm trying to finish right now that I've kinda put that on hold for the moment. But I'll be in touch with you when I'm ready to get it!
Congrats on 100 posts!!
SO happy that you are finding your way back. We must be on the same path, as I had an epifany recently and feel as if I am gaining momentum in my life again. It feels good, after 8 long, draining months, it feels liberating.
I don't think we are ever our old selves again, but we've become new revised versions of our old selves. Like you, I no longer am indulged in things about "me", but am indulged in helping soothe the hearts of others.
Congrats on your 100th post!
Most of all congrats on moving forward with your studio in Jenna Belle's honor :) That's BEAUTIFUL!
Hugs
I love the boxes, they are beautiful... hopefully I will be able to order one for Evie soon!
It is amazing everything you have done that is honoring your daughter... it's awesome that you have found a way to be a blessing to so many other grieving parents!
by the way, I left something for you on my blog =)
Lily
I'm so excited to see more beautiful ways you are honoring Jenna's life through your art. I'm just catching up on blogs and read your last few posts too. It's touching to see how God is healing your heart and drawing you back to Himself. I like your perspective on Joseph, and totally agree, we won't ever be able to forget our pain until we are in heaven with our girls someday, in God's presence. Then, it all truly will melt away.
I will definitely be ordering a memory box for Eliana soon, they are amazing and so are you!
100 posts, that is wonderful. I love the boxes, they are so beautiful. Lovely idea.
Way to go, Franchesca! You are super talented and Jenna would be so proud of her mum! I am really excited for your new projects! I am also thrilled to hear that life feels a little easier for your lately!
Huge hugz! xoxo
I am completely behind, but way to go! You are so talented! I'm headed to check everything out now! Congratulations on the 100th post!
I am completely behind, but way to go! You are so talented! I'm headed to check everything out now! Congratulations on the 100th post!
I am completely behind, but way to go! You are so talented! I'm headed to check everything out now! Congratulations on the 100th post!
I am so glad that you are finding healing in being creative! I will visit the new site and think of Jenna Belle!
I am completely behind, but way to go! You are so talented! I'm headed to check everything out now! Congratulations on the 100th post!
happy 100th! i think the boxes are beautiful! i want to definitely order one!
these are absolutely beautiful! i am inspired by you :) congratulations on 100 (i know i'm late).
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