Happy Nine Months

Happy Nine Months in Heaven, Jenna. I can't really feel much today, but maybe that's okay. Some days I think this is mommy's way of surviving this world down here without you. Daddy and me went to your grave today during his lunch time and it was wet... but at least the water was going down. We've just had a bunch of rain lately. I think I'm ready for spring so I can start on your memory garden.

I can't even put a picture in my head today of what it must be like for you in Heaven. It is amazing to me how you have been gone this long but you are still my world. I hope somehow in Heaven you know that. Okay now I want to cry! I don't want to let myself because once the tears start it's hard to get them to stop. And all the while you are really really okay in Heaven. I want that to be on my mind today.

Last night I dreamed about your name. In my dream you were not there, but I was trying to order a birthstone ring with your birthstone in it. I was telling the person your name, your beautiful beautiful name. I love that I dreamed about your name, maybe soon I will get to dream about you.

I hope in Heaven you have a pony but when you get tired of playing with her, I hope God lets your ride around on a red tricycle. Make sure you give all your friends up there a ride too!

Mommy loves you, Jenna Belle.