I have been missing my little baby girl so.... MUCH. I just want to hold her, see her, smell her again. (sigh) Lots of moments I hadn't thought about in a while came to my memory this past week. Painful memories. But we shared them with her and for that they are precious. The more I go into this the less I appreciate it and the less I understand why. There's a question for eternity. Why. But it just is the way it is. I miss her. I am glad I got to know her. I just feel cheated, so very cheated on motherhood. I know I serve a GOOD God. He has definitely been there for me. Even when I didn't feel it, and sometimes I don't, He is undoubtedly there. He sustains me, keeps me going and gives me something to live for everyday. I cling to the hope He has given. Sometimes I just have to take Him for His word when all else fails, because He said so.
"My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer."
-Psalm 45:1
6 comments:
Thinking of you- And you're right- he is a Good God- and will give you the strength when you find yourself in moments like this- I remember screaming to him WHY? but it the end, it was He who gave me my breath back- and gave me such a peace- God's Grace- and we're so lucky it keeps coming. This is such a difficult road to travel- but you are never ever alone!
Huge Hugs-
Laura
I don't know if we will ever have the answer to Why our babies are not here with us. It is so hard to go on living a purposful life without them. I hope you find some peace and comfort soon. xx
It is so hard. I just want you to know that I am praying for you.
Blessings,
Amy
Praying for you so much & a AWESOME post. HUGS
Caroline
breathe my dear friend,he's giving you the strentgth to inhale&exhale.thats how you know he's there.Those moments when you feel so alone just breathe.Every day,every second.I love you&hurt for you,if i could do anything to stop your pain i would.I continue to pray for you and am always here for you if you need me.
I wish we knew the answers... but even if we did I'm sure it wouldn't take away the pain. I agree with what you said-
"Even when I didn't feel it, and sometimes I don't, He is undoubtedly there... Sometimes I just have to take Him for His word when all else fails, because He said so."
It's hard not feeling it and just accepting Him at His word but I think that's part of what makes faith, faith. I always try to remind myself that His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than my thoughts. One day we'll understand fully.
Peace & love to you!
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