In Jenna's Name

In honor of my sweet Jenna's life, I have started creating Hope Collages for babylost mamas. It seems there are never enough ways to memorialize their lives.

I can do this for children of all ages, up to 18 years old. If you have lost or know someone that has lost a child due to miscarriage, neonatal loss, illness, tragedy, or anything really, I would be honored to create one for them. I would like to be able to do this for as long as I can.

There are a lifetime of words that will never be spoken because we were asked to say goodbye too soon. This is a way to piece all those words together that so often remind us of our angels. I do this free of charge and the turnaround time is 5-7 days.

Please visit Abiding Hope Collages at: www.hopecollage.org if you are interested.

Here are some examples of the hope collages...

I'm Going to Run with it

So I had an idea. I hope its a good one. I want it to be a way for us to remember our babies but also find a drink in this dry land of grief. Losing a baby has got to be one of the hardest things a person could ever be asked of God to do. While I read new stories every week of someone else who has endured this lonesome path, I get to wondering if there is any hope. The answer is YES. 

I am very touched how many people have supported my thinking "outloud" on this online journal at Handprints from Heaven. I have met so many of you through the most unfortunate circumstances. But I challenge each of us to look for hope. This new blog is dedicated to the mothers who have had their dreams dashed into a million pieces, and often times more than once. I pray that you find the hope that only Jesus Christ can give. I ask you to visit my new blog called Abiding Hope.

http://www.ourabidinghope.blogspot.com/

There, I can make a hope collage with your baby's name or just a phrase that you'd like done. It makes a lot more sense when you actually see what I am rambling on about. May the peace of God follow in the days ahead.

But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.

-Psalms 71:14

Heavenly Play-Do

Just when I think I've finished feeling alone and lost, I haven't. There is that ugly monster's head of complete and utter loneliness again. And while I know several strong Christian women who have broken this lonely path before, I can't find it in me to ask for help. When I think I want to, I try and think - What do I say???!? I don't know. Nothing they say isn't something I haven't already heard. So I keep it inside until my facial expressions tell on me. My loving husband (who is handling this with an amazing strenth) then asks me, "Are you ok?"

"No. Not really."

He already knows what its all about. Jenna. Sooo not fair.

But who says it has to be fair? Certainly not God. His plan is greater, I have to remind myself. I have to believe this otherwise I will lose it. He also makes NO mistake. He let it happen. He allowed this. Not me, not anybody else. He did.

But in the midst of all these ups and downs my heart is breaking. Breaking like I never dreamed possible. I look up a lot. I like the clouds. A lot. Its like the clouds are the footstool of heaven. Sometimes I look up and well you might think I am crazy after you read this. But sometimes I look up and I make out shapes of different things like we do when we're kids. Well, I like to think that every now and then God lets Jenna play with the clouds from heaven, sort of like play-do or shaving cream on the table, only on a large scale. My imagination really helps me these days.

It's possible.