That I can't see you everyday and who you'd be today.
It's okay that we weren't meant to be together in this life.
It's okay that I miss you everyday.
It's okay that it hasn't gotten easier to learn that someone else is having a girl.
It's okay that I visit you in a cemetery.
It's okay that I don't write on your blog like I used to.
It's okay that your brother won't ever know you in person, but only through pictures and stories.
It's okay that your life was short.
It's okay that my heart breaks when I remember our time with you.
It's okay that I don't know if I could handle having another baby girl.
It's okay that I smile and mean it.
It's okay that I don't cry when I talk about you every time.
It's okay that sometimes I can't talk about you.
It's okay that some of the memories are still too painful.
It's okay that I get mad at God sometimes still.
It's okay that I ask why almost everyday, even if it's under my breath or in a sigh.
It's okay that you won't be here for this Christmas either.
It's okay that you're in Heaven.
It's okay that most people are 'over' it.
It's okay that I miss you alone most days.
It's okay that this is my life.
I just miss you, Jenna. More than I could ever ever put into words. 16 months and a day ago you made me a mommy.
14 comments:
What a beautiful post. I hope I can one day say everything you just said. ((HUGS))
Beautifully written, I'm having a really hard time lately and am trying to come to an acceptance of what has happened and move forward, some days are just harder than others. It's nice to hear someone else say that it's okay to have those thoughts and feelings and most of all that it's normal given the loss of a baby. Thank you my friend for validating some of the same feelings I've been wrestling with.
This is a sweet post. ((HUGS)) I know that is is not easy and you are very brave.
I love this post. Yes, you are right. It is OK. Sometimes we do have to remind ourselves of that.
Yes dear, it is okay. I love this post. Prefectly written! <3
Beautiful! Missing Jenna Belle with you.
So beautiful. Always remembering Jenna with you !!
Caroline
What a poignant post...I th ink I'm slowly getting to this place, too. I think I'm in this phase of not wanting to accept that I'm nearing acceptance, if that makes sense.
(((hugs)))
Beautiful post.
This is beautiful!
Thank you . . . well written words from the heart.
amazing post xx and your page is so beautiful i could just cry. i love the pic of you under "about Jenna's Mommy" maybe its the pregnancy hormones but your site just has me very emotional today.
I LOVE your quote at the top of your blog and your new lay-out! This post is beautifully said. It's sometimes so hard to accept that all those things are true, and yet it really is, like you said, okay.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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