9.10.2010

Going Backwards

Or so it seems. There are just things that happen... things that come up... things that I remember. Some people call them triggers, but I have learned that they are life. A big part of life.

The other day after Bubby fell asleep I went through one of Jenna's fuchsia bins, the ones that hold some of her things. This one had a stack of cards we received from people along with some other mementos. And then I saw it.


The Jenna Journal. How could I forget? But I did. It had been such a long time since I had opened those bins and a really long time since I'd seen or read anything in the Jenna Journal.

I don't think I've ever shared the Jenna Journal with anyone on my blog before.


This journal was kept by Jenna's side in the NICU. We asked everyone who visited her and us there to sign it. My intention was to document a miracle and twenty years from now let her read the journal that loving family and friends had written in to her as a preemie baby.


Well I never imagined that the journal wouldn't be filled up but about twenty pages. And that in itself is a miracle. The NICU at Texas Children's Hospital said they'd never seen a NICU baby get so many visits like they saw with Jenna.

Good times. Hard times. I miss those times.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

(((hugs)))

Caroline said...

Thinking of you & your precious Jenna so much.

{{HUGS}}
Caroline

brigette said...

What a nice thing to have. Sending much love your way!

Antoinette said...

((((hugs)))) that journal is a big part of your life. Whether you read and open it often...it holds those days she was here still alive...that to me is a miracle on its own...and a pretty good idea as well...I love the new look of her blog!! She must be really proud of it!!

Kalialani said...

This is precious! I wish I would have kept a journal for Leila while she was in the NICU. It's something very special to look back on when you need a reminder of just how loved she is. Thinking of you and Jenna always. <3

Unknown said...

Wow what an amazing thing to have. All those memories of the many people who loved her. This is truly something to cherish. You may not get to share it with her in 20 yrs, but her siblings are going to get to know their big sister and the short life she lived. They will know how in such a short time she affected so many people. What a great thing to have!!!

Jill said...

I love that you have this journal. She is such a loved girl. Lots of love to you!

Lisette said...

Wow, that was a wonderful idea. Jenna is so special and I am so glad you and her got so much support. ((HUGS))

Mattie said...

What beautiful memories of those who love and care for you and your Jenna. Big Hugs and many prayers.

Mary said...

It is often so frustrating to me that everything we have of our babies is so wonderful, and yet so painful. I can imagine your journal is just that. I reminder of her life, her impact...and her abscence.

rebecca said...

Wow what a beautiful reminder of the love that others felt towards Jenna during her short time here. I understand already what you mean about going backwards, this past week I have felt my grief increasing, as the world moves forward there are so many things that remind me of what life should have been and what I have lost. Hugs and love my friend, I'm so sorry for your pain.

Mary said...

That was such a good idea. Now I know that book means so much more. All the support you received is such a blessing.

Holly said...

I'm sure the journal is bittersweet but I bet you're glad that you have it. You'll always be able to remember those who cared coming and supporting you guys and Jenna.

Anonymous said...

(hugs)

Jenna's Name Slideshow

Thank you so much for emailing me pictures of my Jenna's name. It means so much that you took time to remember my Jenna with me. XO