Well here's some truth.
I hurt everyday. I miss her everyday. And with every milestone our healthy baby passes my heart aches a little more because now I know what I am missing.
I should be a pro at being a mommy. And by pro I don't mean a mommy that has all the answers and never has bad kids or those embarrassing moments in the grocery store. I mean pro - like I should at least have an idea what a three month old is supposed to be doing instead of looking it up on Babycenter. Pro - like I should have some kind of clue what sort of activities are good for my baby's development. Pro - like I should already know when my baby will be teething.... will be able to eat baby food... will be sitting up by himself...
Enough truth for today. I just miss her.
13 comments:
I totally understand Fran. There seems to be some unspoken amount of time where it feels like the subject of loss shouldn't be talked about anymore. Like we should be moving on by now. But the truth of the matter is that, no matter how long time passes, or how many wonderful things happen in your life, one of you is still missing it all...
Hugs mama! Today has been a rough day for myself and 3 other babylost mamas as well (see facebook). I have no words of advice just that I understand. Hugs! And you shouldn't feel scared to talk about Jenna. If you feel like it, do it. I would love to hear more about her. <3
(((hugs))), (((hugs))), (((hugs)))
you ARE a pro at loving your babies:) and that's what counts!
The truth is so hard sometimes isn't it? I too feel that people are already over me talking about it, even though it hasn't been long at all...hard not to want to talk about our babies. Thinking of you & sending love:)
I think that it is what ever is healthy for you...if you want to talk we are listening..i know how you feel about people 'not wanting to hear it' anymore...but you know we all support what ever you do...every time you post new pics of something you made, i imagine your daughter making them with you..
{{HUGS}} and lots of them. You are a pro and I love hearing about Jenna. Everytime I see something you have made because of her life. I think what a awesome Mama !!!
Love ya Fran
Caroline
I absolutely get this post.
xo
Hugs! Thinking of you friend! <3
I can't say that I fully understand, but not cause I don't, only because my loss is still so fresh.
I lost my son on my birthday, June 6. He wasn't due until Aug 19. I have been in a darkness now for two LONG months and it only seems to get worse. I feel like it is going to continue to get worse before it gets better. Maybe after his due date passes, it will get easier. That is what I keep thinking. But I doubt that.
I was told just yesterday, at the 2month and 1 day mark of when I lost my son, that I need to "get over it". Are you kidding me? I will NEVER get over it. Ever. I lost my son. The child I tried to conceive for 26 months. The child that I carried for 29 weeks and 1 day. The child that I talked to every single day. The child that I had so many dreams for.
I don't think us moms will ever "get over it". It's just not something that we are meant to get over. Live through it, yes. Become stronger, yes. Be a better person, yes. Get over it, never.
xoxo
((hugs)) Fran I can totally relate to this post... sending you lots of love
Oh...the missing and the "what should bes"...I know them well. Praying for you as you miss your sweet Jenna.
Love to you...
i thoguht about Jenna when were were flying through the clouds. I saw nothing but blue skies and big fluffy clouds all around us... I imagined her waving at us from the lap of the Lord.
I know, that ache never goes away, and having a healthy baby could never, ever erase the imprint that our babies in heaven leave on our souls. I so wish you could have had all of those experiences with Jenna that you are getting with Joseph, but know that you are such an amazing Mommmy to both of them!! ((HUGS))
Post a Comment