11.09.2009

Sometimes

Sometimes...
I look around and fall right into place into this new reality, new normal -  whatever it is we like to call it.

Sometimes...
I hide behind the facade of everyday life and I am really not okay.

Sometimes...
I hate that others have no idea she existed when they look at me.

Sometimes...
I dread other peoples' remarks and questions.

Sometimes...
Her memory is too precious to share with people who never met her.

Sometimes...
I want to cry because I want to live in the past with her.

Sometimes...
I would rather be a bird and escape this pain.

Sometimes...
I just want to die to see her again.

Sometimes...
Sunny days are pure bliss because it is a break from my shattered, dark world.

Sometimes...
I wonder if lightning strikes twice where I live.

Sometimes...
Her memory brings nothing but a smile.

More often than not - lately -
I am in disbelief. It's then that I realize that this is my life. (sigh)


16 comments:

Jess said...

I so relate to the disbelief, it's like no matter how much time passes, you don't fully get over the shock that something like this could really happen, and did. It's almost too awful to be real. Sadly, I too wonder if lightning strikes twice in my world. I pray that it won't for either of us!

Karen said...

Oh, my friend. That's so on the nose. (((Hugs)))

Bree said...

I understand. All of it. Hugs, friend.

Caroline said...

So true & Prayers & {{HUGS}}
Caroline

Beth said...

so familiar..

Jill said...

I feel with you...

Thinking of you. xoxo

Lauren said...

I remember so well wishing that I could just be done here and go live in heaven with my little boys. It's just too hard to be here without them sometimes. I also vividly remember riding in the car with John one day adn saying "I just can't believe this is my life ... I don't want this story." It's such a hard path and life is never the same again. Thank you for sharing honestly.

Kristy said...

I get it. Thinking of you hun. *hugs*

Jen said...

feeling it..missing her with you..

Christmas with Kasey said...

Right there with you, missing her with you ((hugs))

Catherine W said...

Sometimes I have to sigh too Franchesca. Much love xo

Once A Mother said...

yes to all of it. I can relate....

sending love and prayers
xx

Anonymous said...

I feel all of this. *hugs*

The Blue Sparrow said...

It's as if you plucked the words right out of my head with this post. It is so true. I feel this way more often than not myself too. Hugs!

Malory said...

I felt every word in my my own heart that you wrote. I physically felt it as I read each word. You express yourself so well.

Holly said...

I sat here and was agreeing with each sentence that you wrote. I'm so glad I know people who get it.

Jenna's Name Slideshow

Thank you so much for emailing me pictures of my Jenna's name. It means so much that you took time to remember my Jenna with me. XO