Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day
October 15th
Your candle is burning in the other room
I didn't want to ever remember you this way.
It is morbid and lonely and the flame is all I have today
With thousands, no millions of other babylost mommies
I passed this day last year
And didn't blink an eye.
I was unaware that you and me would
identify with its significance the way we do now.
I wonder...
How many remembrance days have I been blindly living through
Naive and unaware
That one day I will identify with them too?
It's something I have said before,
but its strange how life changes.
Today I will remember you.
No different than the rest of the days
You are always on mommy's mind.
I think people sometimes wonder
What in the world is wrong with me -
Well, if they'd had to give up your sweet face
And bury your life
Maybe... they'd get me.
But today is not about anyone but you.
Today I will take you flowers
And miss you all over again
The tears will fall
And the memories will hurt me but it's grief that I am learning to live in.
I don't mind the tears the way I used to
I don't stop the memories because they bring me close to you.
I don't pretend I am ok; it's a true waste on energy.
I am embracing the pain because it is the result of loving you deeply.
I got to wondering in this crazy head of mine
How many angel friends do you have?
And is today the day you all come down and watch your candles burn?
Are you a little closer because you know it will be hard?
I like to think you are.
And that you are surrounded by love
And thousands of beautiful angel babies...
Just like you.
Love you, miss you, my precious Jenna Belle
