Jenna's First Easter

I woke up Easter morning and I knew after almost a year of holidays, that this one would be hard too. I knew that I was missing out on so much with her. I wanted to dress my baby girl up too. I wanted to buy her a huge stuffed bunny and lots of candy that her daddy would probably help finish. I wanted all that and more. We pulled into the church parking lot and I literally had to hold back the tears. I knew I would be bombarded with little girls dressed up in frilly dresses. I am tired of this world reminding me what I will never get with Jenna. I'm still there, just tired.

The one year mark is almost here, and I don't see it getting any easier. I take great comfort in doing things in her name. As long as I am literally doing something to make her memory live on, it helps my heart. I worked in her garden a little today, fertilizing it... we'll see how that goes ;)

I don't think there's a day lately that I don't ask God why. And He is so good, He just lets me. He is so patient, because I think He gets it. The longing, the broken heart, the desperation of wanting the nightmare to end. I am so glad He is not like me, I'd be sick of me by now. lol


For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
-Isaiah 55:9

:::

When I got on the computer yesterday and today, I received many delightful surprises that I never expected. It means so much that there are people who just get it. They get how much it means to see our baby's name. Everywhere, all day, all the time.

Thank you Danielle!

Thank you, Michelle!

{fuchsia!}

{so adorable}

And thank you, Lisette!

{fuchsia!}

I know these women must have spent so much time writing so many babies' names. Thank you ladies for making my heart skip a beat when I saw Jenna's name!!!

:::

And I also wanted to take time to thank Beth for writing my Jenna's name with alphabet blocks! How adorable is that!

She even got a pony in there! ;)

And Jaime engraved Jenna's name in ice!! How cool is that! 

I am so terrible, because I received the last two pics more than a few days ago. I just wanted to publicly thank each of these beautiful women for remembering my Jenna Belle. There are no words to describe how it makes me feel. No words, simply thank you! 

XO