I started reading The Shack. I have to say that it has been a Godsend. It has helped me to confront the emotions that up until recently I had been shrinking from. I am angry. I am wondering why. I still don't ever want to get it. But, if I might encourage anyone, I urge you to read this book that brings you to the very heart of God in the midst of losing and grieving a child.
I told my husband a few months ago that the only thing worse than what we experienced with Jenna is having your child kidnapped, never to see them again. He agreed. This book embraces that heart-wrenching situation, showing just how much God gets our anger. So many people commented on the last post how God can take our anger, which I totally agree. If He created us with the natural instinct to love our babies, how can we not be angry when this tragedy strikes and we are forced to live and breathe without them?!That is asking for something unnatural.
While I don't wish to live the rest of my days caught up in this frustration and anger, I am not going to run from it. I know that God intended for me to love Jenna, and losing her has created a gaping hole that hurts everyday. I get to love her memory, but I will never get to show her how much I love her down here. And there lies the root of the heartache. My loss of the chance to love her.
